Oh no!!! Do you hear that? Your sweet little girl just started to cry. Not the “ouch, I’m hurt” cry…. It’s the “I’m so mad and annoyed” cry.
If you don’t do something quick, you know that soon she will be on the floor, kicking her feet and yelling.
That is the last thing you need at the end of the day, 20 minutes before dinner, when you are the busiest.
Here are 5 Ways to calm your child down when them become upset.
- Stay Calm
Children feed off of the energy around them. If you become upset, they will “feel” that emotion and become more upset. Instead, stay calm. Take in a big breath and ask them if they need a hug. If they don’t, quietly tell them that you will help them when they are ready.
- Give Them Space
A lot of times parents tell me they try to “talk their child down” from a tantrum. This hardly ever works because if your child is overwhelmed with emotions, the last thing they want to do is listen to a lecture! Instead, give your child space and the opportunity to take breaths, processing their emotions independently. Once they are calm, they will be ready for some help.
- Allow them to Calm Down in their own Way
Set your child up for success by teaching them some simple calm down strategies that utilize their sensory system. When adults become upset, we tend to take a walk, go on a run, chew gum, drink some coffee or breathe in some fabulous smelling lotions. These sensory strategies will help your child also! By creating a simple bucket filled with child-safe sensory items, your child will be able to access these on their own. Soothing Sammy teaches children how to implement these simple techniques independently, so they are ready to talk to you and solve their problem.
4. Talk to Them When they are Ready
After your child is calm, ask them if they are ready for your help. If they are ready, ask them what made them so upset. Sometimes there is a simple solution on how to fix the situation while other times talking through the situation will help you and your child understand what made them mad and why. Since your child is still “cooling off”, make sure to use simple words and phrases that you know they understand.
- Prepare for future problems.
Now that you have discovered why your child was upset, it is time to help them discover what to do if they are in this situation again in the future. Help your child work through this specific situation and discover what they can do if they are in a similar situation. Next time when they are feeling frustrated in a similar situation, they will remember your conversation and ask for help before becoming overwhelmed and tantrumming.
How is my child supposed to calm down on their own?
After spending over 16 years working with children, I couldn’t find anything written for children that teaches these skills in a hands-on way. This is why I created the “Soothing Sammy Program.”
Soothing Sammy teaches children how to process their feelings, identify their emotions and problem solve in a way that is easy for children to understand and simple for parents to implement! Check it out here!